Body And Soul

There is no soft spot in my breast.
I have a steel heart,
Making its own fortress, carving out chambers
To give you refuge.

This is a painful construction,
And I fear that I have lost the blueprint
Somewhere.
Perhaps I am building my own prison.

It is my head that aches, my brain that is soft,
With its wayward chemicals
Sloshing around through ill-made sluices
And faulty locks.

Its warning system triggers flashing lights and sirens,
CAUTION! BEWARE! HALT! RUN!
It refuses to shut down,
Bombarding my fortress with volleys of fear;
Neurotransmitters war with flesh.

Which is the organ of love, the head or the heart?
My heart is firm, but my head is an inferno,
Trying to learn
How to warm and when to retreat.

Still, still, still is my heart.

- Sally Clay
May 16, 1990

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