Arriving Where I Started
During the Boston years, I reclaimed the spirituality that transformed my consciousness during my first psychosis. I opened to other people, and felt commonality with them instead of alienation. These lessons did not mature until nearly six years later. I took refuge in Buddhism. My teacher advised me to use what I had learned to help others who had experienced madness, the same lesson that Robert had shown me. I finally found the career I had been looking for, organizing consumer-run programs. By following spiritual practices diligently, I remained free from manic episodes for nearly ten years. I continue to be susceptible to manic episodes, but when one gets out of control, I just get up again as quickly as I can and go back to work.
Lessons:
- Madness was a teacher to me. Eventually it led to a new vocation: using peer support to help myself and other mental health consumers.
- The fruits of spiritual learning are often not apparent until later, when they have ripened.
Applications:
- Spiritual practices or exercises can stabilize the mind and provide a real prevention against future episodes.
- In my case, the mental health system did more damage than good. When professionals helped, it was because of their compassion and humanity, not their psychiatric theories. The mental health system should develop compassion and loving kindness in its practitioners with the same assiduousness it now devotes to teaching chemicals and theories.